this is the hardest thing by far, the overpowering need to rid you from my every conscious thought. it's a struggle, but i must accomplish this, because i know if i cannot i will never be able to find you in my dreams, where i can lavish myself in your memory. i can still smell you on my pillow, i still hear your voice in the other room, sometimes i can even feel you at night, close to me, breathing. but i cant count on these sensations anymore, because no matter how many times i believe i've seen you out the corner of my eye, i know you never really were there. each morning i wake up expecting you to be there, i wait for your phone call, i sit by the window anticipating your arrival home. you never come and it kills me. but i will wait, i still search for your scent, and i cant stop. at night i pray for you to join me in my parallel world, the one place no one else can get to, but you havent been there for a while now. i wake up screaming your name, till my lungs dry out and my eyes feel like they may just burst from the pressure. i feel nothing but pain without you here, my love. im an empty vessel, and these days just seem to keep getting longer and longer.